Lost

I posted to a homechool group for advice today and didn't get quite what I wanted. But I did eventually get somewhat of a wake up call.
I really like our reward and consequence system. The kids do to. But some things of it dont work sometimes. I need to figure out how to correct it to make it better. I just dont know how. I so need someone to bounce ideas off of and dont have anyone except my hubby. Hes no good cause he wont listen and he wants to discipline harder and I dont want to spank and stuff.
Please send guidance.